Where is the Love?

Again, another BLOG brought on by the amazing message at PCC. Which brings me to my first point:
1. I have some friends (yes, they are real friends) who told me and my fellow PCC members that PCC is like a cult. I have heard that before. I laugh at this because, to my understanding and belief, it is because PCC has "taken" so many people from their usual church.... that we have taken so many from their "home church"....and they now rant and rave about PCC and how great it is and how different it is.
Here is the definition of cult: (per dictionary.com)
1. a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies. Each serive at PCC is different, we have no rituals)

2. an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers: the physical fitness cult.

3. the object of such devotion.

4. a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.

5. Sociology . a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols.

6. a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.

7. the members of such a religion or sect.

I think Brian would like the end of #6 because of the "charismatic leader" LOL

But it again links with being judged. Now, again, I am friends with these people. I honestly love them and enjoy being with them. One I have known almost my entire life. And I judge others too. I am not trying to put me or PCC above them. What I think makes others look at PCC 'that way' is that we are different than most (if not all) churches in Powhatan. We went through a booming period a few years ago and it made people stop and say "Who? Where? Oh, yeah, I have heard of them"...and so it began.
We are not old school. We are very contemporary. We have different ways of doing things than traditional churches from our "dress code" (which by the way God doesn't care what you are wearing, He cares about what you are doing) to our music to how we teach our kids about God and Jesus to how our church runs politically. We are different and therefore in this world, we are judged.
One friend laughed at how we have ministries for everything. He said "you even have a ministry for the parking lot"...and I said yes, we do.
Ministry:an act or instance of ministering; ministration; service.
The act of service.
Have YOU seen the PCC parking lot on a Sunday morning? It is crazy. So yes, we have people who are helping us (and people new to PCC or just trying out PCC) to get into service on time and safely. So they are a ministry. They are helping us to get to God and his word calmly, safely, and with a less turmoil as possible. Because how many of you would come back to a church if just getting in caused you stress? If your car got bumped in the process?

2. Today's message:
Judging others. So hard not to do...from someone pulling out in front of you on the street to their political views. From judging something like their clothes to the type of car they are driving. We do it all the time. It seems (and I said seems)to be second nature to us humans.
I loved the message today. And since I have become a Christian, I am trying to change my way of labeling or judging others. I still have a long path ahead of me, but I have made progress. Instead of verbally saying something ugly, I started only saying it in my head. Then I got to where if a situation occurred, I would tell myself that is was wrong to think that way.....and so on and on....
And that is when it hit me. How easily it comes to our mind and lips and before we know it, everyone has heard our opinion on the "guy who just cut me off in traffic, the kid with the ripped jeans and dirty face at school, the parents whose kid has the worst behavior, or even the woman who stands up and church and seems to go crazy in her worship"....
How easily it happens. How easily it is learned.
And then it occurred to me, especially when I saw some of the people on our stage this morning, how easily we do it to ourselves.
Some of us judge ourselves terribly. We are too ugly, too fat, too anything we can think of as to why we are not good enough. How are we suppose to love others as God does, when we can't even love ourselves?
I fight this one big time. Everyday. All day. From the moment I wake up and step on that scale to when I hit the bed and think how I did with my food today. And then add the pregnancy to it.
I envy those who do not thrive on a number. I envy those who know how or have learned how to love themselves no matter their size.
I know my body will gain weight when I am pregnant. I understand that. The amount I have gained is where I have the problem. When I am pregnant, my body holds onto EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! There are days I am not hungry at all (I know, weird, but it is true) and I eat maybe 1000 calories and the scale goes up. (BTW: my doctor knows about my history and body image issues, and she says my body will tell me when I need food, so I am not in any way denying this baby anything).
So how the heck do you get over these issues? Therapy? yes, sometimes. My therapy is my husband who listens to me and my fears and loves me still. I know my God loves me no matter what. And I also believe my therapy is to make sure I do not pass these issues on to my students or children. I have had many conversations with my students (when we study those topics like nutrition and the digestive system)concerning these issues. I have even gone far enough to tell them of my battle with bulimia. They need us to be open and honest with them so they are comfortable enough to come to us when they feel these ways. They need to know we are not perfect and we have NOT figured every ting out just because we are adults. We are just big kids with responsibility and jobs. And the ability to pass our experiences onto them in hopes they learn from it, too.
So, those of us who judge ourselves harshly...do we judge others the same?
My answer: it depends. I use to judge others like that...their weight issues. Now, not so much. I do wonder if they have thyroid issues or mental issues and they comfort themselves with food. There are so many possibilities.
But the truth is I judge myself harder than I do anyone else. This was a learned behavior from many people throughout my life. It came from many directions....the one who would say "does it look like they are starving?" to being labeled the "pretty and skinny one" (those two words should never be said together to or in front of a child)to the dance instructor who kept me from the performance because my body was slightly larger than the other girls, but my talent was equal and had been proved to the magazines that told me how to look....it is no one to blame but the village (it takes a village to raise a child).
So my answer to help those who judge themselves as I do (and I am working on it piece by piece, it is a work in progress)is to surround yourself with those who love you for you. To open up to a friend who will listen and not try to fix the problem, but really listen. To seek therapy if needed. But to try to change your fixed thoughts.
And to those of you reading this and thinking....I wonder what she must think of me if she feels that way about herself....don't worry, I don't judge you that way. I judge myself. It is different. For those who do this, you understand.
Oh and on a positive note: I do understand the positive attributes of exercise and eating right for a healthy body and mind. My exercise routine is as much for physical as it is for mental stability. It makes me feel better. It does wonders for the mind. I am truly learning this as I exercise and see the opposite results (due to the pregnancy)but I continue to exercise for the mental benefits.