1. Personal trainer thing going well. I enjoy working with Teresa. Numbers haven't changed much, but I have no one to blame but myself....for snaking!!!! I eat pretty well, exercise all the time.....so maybe this is me. I'm not unhappy with myself. WOULD like to see that extra layer of adipose (fat) tissue go away. But am I willing to sacrifice certain things to do it? I don't know. So I am officially in a slump. I will not go backwards...I will keep eating healthy.....I will continue to exercise...but I'm in an emotional weight loss slump.....do I really want to spend the rest of my life worrying about everything I put in my mouth...NO WAY!!!! I don't look bad....I am concerned that the older I get, the slower my metabolism will be, and it will be harder to get pounds off then, so do it now, right?
2. Changes in my life: wanting more of God and the people who can help my spiritual life blossom. need more....want more.....
I guess that it is for now....I am emotionally drained today. I am worry about things that I should not....and trying to give them to God.....but feel sad and lonely.....yes, it's the whole I'm a single mom crap.....it is exhausting...I mean it can wipe you out....and I'm not talking about a break, I'm talking about what will happen with Chaytor? What will his life be like? He always says "When I get to be a tall, tall person, I will still live in this house"!!!! Which confuses my ....mind? It's so hard to try to figure out what the future will be for him? Will he "grow out of this"?, will he be a regular teenager?, will he be able to go to college?, will he marry?".....
and other things that are bothering me include What the heck is going on with Kelley Deep? What in the world? I pray this stops for her and soon!!! Mr. Carden (PHS principal) wants me to go back to teaching full time!! I told him I would (budget allowing) but I don't want to be full time. I am thankful to PCPS for working with me to stay part time and I feel like I am letting them down if I don't go full...and I don't usually think that way!!!! But I will have no life, no me time, no down time, no anything but school and Chaytor....when will I exercise? when will I do laundry? when will I go to the dentist? all that!!!!! For those of you who are not teachers: teachers (the ones who do their job, and do it right) are constantly being pulled between their family and pitching in a school more. On the days I work, I stay at school til 5pm (get there at 7:30 am)getting papers graded, labs set up, running copies, calling parents, etc. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO NOT LOSE MY MIND WORKING FULL TIME AND TAKING CARE OF A SPECIAL NEEDS KID????????
Ok, I let it out.....feel a alittle better!!! thanks :)
2 comments:
So many things to say...
First, I have no answers, but I did "listen" to your words. I have no advice because I cannot say 'I understand what it is like,".... because I do not..fully. Secondly, take it from the eating/looking/exercising obsessed food-poisoning girl... YOUR HEALTH is the ONLY thing that matters. You want a milkshake? HAVE ONE! :O)
Thirdly, I think you should take my verse from last year and have it be your verse for THIS year... Psalm 9:10
And finally, I, too, would like to know what the HECK IS UP WITH KELLEY DEEP???????????????
mt advice (for what it's worth): one day at a time girl. Yes look to the future, but trust God more than you worry.
And yes we all want to know WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH KELLEY DEEP?!?!
Post a Comment