Sometimes we ask ourselves "Is this what I really want? or it is just what I think I want? or is it what I need?". These questions can be applied to many different aspects of our lives: diet, entertainment, spirituality, God, relationships. Sometimes it is hard to determine if it is something that we need or just want. We can base it on if it makes us feel good about what we are doing OR by how empty or fulfilled we can feel after we are done.
I use to have a check list on things I wanted in my life. And I felt that once I was able to check off everything, I would be complete. I have learned that it is not so. I do have ideas of what I want my life to be. But they do not always occur or they don't always occur in the right order OR it's just chaos!
1. I want to be the best mom I can to Chaytor.
2. I want to serve God and live as he has made me to live.
3. I want to be a good teacher and hopefully pass on my love for others through my teaching.
4. I enjoy making others happy and want other people in my life to be happy.
Ultimately it comes down to wanting to live a peaceful, happy life. Sometimes you can feel spent from trying to make this happen. But I believe if you are true to yourself, it will happen automatically. Not all the time, of course. But most of the time.
There are things we can not control. But we can control our reactions. Don't jump to conclusions, take deep breathes when we are angry or upset. Take time to think about things and what it ultimately the right decision for you and your loved ones.
I have learned to have patience. i still have to work on it at times, but I am better at it. But I still question things like "God has a plan for each one of us" and "In due time", etc.
Sometimes it is hard to have patience when it is something you really want in life and know that God wants it for you too.
So, I sit back and fulfill my time with other things until it comes along.And try to be patient.
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