My Joseph

Well, I haven't cried like this in a while. Church was awesome and terrifying at the same time today. Brian spoke from Mary's perspective this morning. He talked about what it must have been like for a very young, single woman, to be pregnant. How to explain this to her fiance, and what her world was going to be like if Joseph didn't marry her.

He asked all of us to stand. i was sitting to next to my friend Kristal, both of us bawling. I think I squeezed her hand so tight that I cut off her circulation. But I didn't want to let go. I wanted her there more than anyone else. People came over and stood by us, and all the other single moms. I felt like I was back at Robbie's funeral. I haven't stopped crying since.

He talked about the single moms in the world and the struggles that they go through. He didn't label us according to out marital history- never married, divorced, widow, etc. But he spoke of how we had no Joseph to help with all it takes to raise a child. I have no Joseph anymore, but I do have an amazing support system with Robbie's family, my family, and my community. I can't help but think of my small group here.....almost all of us are single moms who are trying to make it in this world. Some have money problems, some of us are dating and have our own issues there......but we are all amazing women. We are strong and loving and we all hope for a happy ending some day. We are able to let our guard down and express our feelings to each other, our hopes and nightmares.