Holidays Blues

Ok, I have tried not to BLOG about this because it makes me look pathetic and lonely and I know some people will be like "Oh my gosh, she is soo messed up. I think she needs to go back to her therapist". Well, I have this to say to them. This is therapy for me. It's ok to feel this way sometimes and I am allowed to have bad days. So there ya go.....and here I go....

I wish I had a timeline on when I will be happy, really happy again in the relationship department. I am sick of being alone and I want someone to share my life with. I am a good person. I'm not weird or odd.....I have a lot to offer someone. I am good to people and I'm sick of men trying to take advantage of that. Notice I said try.

The guy I told that I didn't want to see anymore b/c of the entire "texting" thing won't leave me alone. He even said "I'm not giving up on you". Said he wanted to commit to me and that he wanted to see me not the "red head" he was also talking to. (Oh- I found pics of this red head in his phone, 1/2 naked at that). That's why I told him forget it.

After a week or so, I returned a text. Well, I played along for a day or two and he asked to see me again. I offered Thursday night. Let's just say that he kept suggesting this weekend. I said I was only available on Thursday. He finally said, well she's (the red head)making me dinner. You said you didn't want to see me anymore. WThell! I have to admit, he is the dumbest one I have found! I said well, cancel with her......he wrote back, that wasn't fair! WHAT!

So, I sent a text saying "don't text or call me again". He wrote back that I was crazy! HAHA, well, a little...so I wrote back that he could think of it as he wished, but I respected myself and my heart and no woman I know would settle. And that's what he would be, settling.

It really made me think that he must have only dated ignorant woman, who didn't know what to look for or that believed someone like him. I have to actually thank BBQ for teaching me what to look for and not believe words from every man's lips. I told Brian (my pastor) about him and he explained that some men like to conquer women, they don't like to loose. I think that is the case with this one. But Brian assured me that there are men out there (like Robbie) that will respect me and only want to be with me.

So, now that I have written this out, and I know my friends will leave loving comments for me, I feel better!!!

Oh, some of you who don't know Brian Hughes may be thinking I don't believe you talked to your pastor about this.....you don't know Brian. He is awesome to talk to. thanks, much love to you, Brian!