My small group is studying the book Crazy Love. The first 2 chapters brings you to remember how much God loves us and all he has done for us, individually and as the human race.You do get all warm and fuzzy inside.
Then you hit the next few chapters..........and as my husband puts it "Let me go read my Jesus and want to put a bullet in my head"........don't worry, he wouldn't, it's just his sense of humor.
The next few chapters slams in our faces how "lukewarm" we are to God and "serve him our leftovers".......and it's true. I'm not saying it's not true. But DAMN! The way the writer puts it, you do just want to hang your head in shame or as my hubby puts it "go put a bullet in your head".
So as we were doing our questions together last night, I say to Martin "But isn't it true? We do go to church, tithe, give to charitable organizations, we do support a needy child in another country, we do minister to the teenagers..... But we are suppose to do so much more!"
The author keeps saying we are to "give it all up, take up our cross, and follow Jesus."
So what is that suppose to look like or be? I asked Martin "Are we suppose to sell our stuff and just go? What about our children?"
And I do feel that way........maybe not sell the house, but GO and DO. But WHAT?
I know I have things I have wanted to do like a missions trip (but I can honestly say I can't leave my kids for 2 weeks, it would hang on me the entire trip), I want to study, I mean really study the Bible like through a school, I want to give my time and work at a Food Bank or another cause like that..............
but that takes away from what I said I would do........stay at home with my kids....and also requires money we don't have anymore since I don't work.....
So then the ? comes up, is there a time in my life that I am suppose to wait for in order to serve more? But I don't think there is anywhere in the Bible it says to "build up your list and when you can, serve more".
The book makes a statement that most Lukewarm Christians think a life of giving it all up and following Jesus is for "extreme christians".............but isn't that what we are suppose to do?
Where do I/we go from here? What am I suppose to do more and still be there for my family? Or do I just take them with me? I don't think God would call me away from my family......but the story in the Bible when God tells one of his disciples to NOT worry about saying good bye to his family.....just leave............
What am I suppose to do with that? How do I apply it to MY life?
2 comments:
Karen,
I'm going to give you a great and right answer. A brilliant and theological answer. One that could only come from years of seminary and Biblical training. Are you ready?
Here it is: Only you can know.
I know this sounds like I'm making fun of you. I'm not. Anyone who comes right out an answers this question directly with a straight forward, black and white answer means well, but misses the point. This question can only be fleshed out between you and God as you wrestle with what it means for you to be completely sold out as a fully, completely devoted follower of Jesus Christ. Is there anything you would not do for Him? Is there anything you are withholding from Him? Are there any areas of your life off-limits to Him?
This is not a one-time thing, but an ongoing, continuing evaluation.
I sense a frustration, but I encourage you to embrace the questions you are asking as pivotal and essential to your spiritual journey and to your spiritual maturity. I think you are honoring God by asking them and wrestling with them. Way to go.
Glad to be on the journey with you.
Brian
The fact that you are even wrestling with these ideas is a good sign. If you were truly a lukewarm Christian, then the ideas of dropping your life to go and do, the wrestle of where your role as mom and wife fits with your primary role as Christ follower--those ideas wouldn't enter your mind, and you wouldn't wrestle with them. Keep wrestling. Jacob wrestled with God all night--even when it physically hurt--until he received God's blessing. Wrestle, even though it hurts, until you get your blessing. (and make sure it's God you're listening to. God can certainly speak through Chan, but Chan is not God.)
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