Wouldn't it be nice if God just sent us an email or text or even a phone call to let us know when and where we need to be to do His work? If it were only that easy.
In the last few weeks, I feel that God is trying to tell me something. And not just "do good" or "help others", but something more specific. I decided to be a stay at home mom with Russell or to at least try it out. Yes, there are days I want to get out by myself and then there are days that I have the best times with Russell all day. I know this is a normal feeling for moms. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? But I am glad I have this opportunity.
I do however think about what I want to do when it's time to "go back to work". I taught high school biology for 10 years. And the easy answer would to be just go back to that. I do miss the kids. I really enjoy that age. But I don't feel that (for now) is what I need to do.
I can't put my finger on it exactly, but I feel called to try something new; something that may change my life forever. A change that I want. A change that I believe God wants too.
I want to do something that allows me to really put God's plan in my everyday life and teach His word to others. Does this mean missionary work? Does it mean ministry? I do not know that yet.
My small group is doing the series Experiencing God. We are only 2 weeks into it, but I am really enjoying it and I am learning to change myself to be and do what God wants.
Lessons I have learned and are trying to implement:
1. God is always at work around us.
2. God wants me in his plan.
3. If I accept this plan of His for me, it will radically change my life.I will most probably face a faith crisis if I choose to accept.
This last one is the one that scares me. Change my life radically. I WANT THAT. But my life is not just my life. I have responsibilities that I choose to have: husband, kids...........cages. Cages that will keep me from accepting the new life God wants for me?
God wants me to take care of my family. I choose to have children and that means I choose to take care of them in anyway I need/have to.
But what if God's plan takes me somewhere that I can't do everything I need to do for my family? Would He do that? Would I listen? What will others say about me taking time off from family to do God's work? I am a bad mom? I'm selfish? She shouldn't have had another baby? Is Chaytor getting what he needs?
Questions. all the time. Questions in my head for what am I suppose to do. Jesus just walked by some of his disciples and said "Follow me and I will make you fishes of men." And they did. The Bible tells us they just dropped what they were doing and left their families to follow Jesus.
I am not leaving my family. But I do want to follow him.
So for now I will keep my eyes, ears, heart, and mostly soul open to hear Him.
My Family
Our Family
3 comments:
Karen, I really enjoy reading how God is speaking to you in your blogs. Your honesty is a sweet breath of fresh air. I appreciate it. I appreciate your openness and willingness to ask the questions of yourself when it comes to following Christ. It is a good example.
You must do what God calls you to do--no more, no less. He will provide for your family. You will have to establish boundaries no matter what line of work you're in to make sure you're taking care of yourself, your kids, your husband and marriage. Some people will think you should stay home with your kids...again, that's no matter what line of work you're in. I've had family members, church members, and a shrink tell me that being a stay-at-home mom was the responsible thing for me to do. That's just not my calling. Do what God leads you to do. Be the woman, wife, and mother God calls you to be. It's hard to do it all; you'll pray a lot and live in God's grace.
So much of this is a matter of prayer and discernment. I will say that--regardless of whether or not you "return to work" (We all know you're working your tail off, now!)--my experience has been: God can provide unbelievable opportunities for ministry that you can complete WITH your family. Keep seeking His face; He'll help get you where you're going.
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