Moving On........

Received a phone call last night from the Virginia Vine Services....they keep you up to date on any offenders that you need to know about. For example, I would get phone calls on when Walker would be transferred from one jail to another, etc. Well, they called to let me know that he was released. Now, I'm not the only one who gets these calls...Jean does too. I'm not sure of anyone else.

But it was weird. I never directly blamed Walker for Robbie's death. Lots of people did, but it was different for me. If he had been shot or stabbed or Walker ran into him...that would be different for me. But Robbie lost control of his car. We don't know why or how or anything about it. But it happened.

But life goes on. I've been through a kinda hell. But I survived with the help of family, friends, and God. God saved me through my friends and family. And he brought someone to me. I truly believe that. Martin was "lost" too. People who are married, or in a long term relationship don't alway quite remember the days of needing someone special to share their lives with; especially when you had it and suddenly it was gone. Not because of divorce or break up....I mean being in a happy relationship and then poof....nothing. It hurts and you feel very alone...even if your in a crowded room with all your best friends...you still feel very alone.

Here's my point. I'm not alone in that meaning anymore. I met Martin. And we fell in love, fast. And it is good. We are so happy together and there is nothing in me that says this isn't anything but good.

Does this mean I don't still think of Robbie? NO. I think of him every day. I think of the father that Chaytor lost. We have pictures up around the house. We talk to Chaytor about Robbie all the time. We talk about what he is doing in heaven. He will always know his father. He will always know what a great man he was. And Martin and I agree on all of this. Martin has a high respect for Robbie and has promised to help me keep him alive in Chaytor.

That being said, I have this to say.

I am allowed to move on in my life. I am moving on in my life. And it is good. And I am happy. And Chaytor is happy. And we are becoming a new family. And it is good.