Anxiety

We all have it. Anxiety. Sometimes it's just a little. Or it's a good anxiety, like excitement. But sometimes it's nervousness. You get butterflies and feel like you're going to get sick when you think about the situation. Sometimes it controls all your thoughts and you can't think of anything else. We all have it. The difference in all of us is how we handle it. We can't control the situation, but we can control our responses.
Chaytor starts kindergarten tomorrow. I get sick when I think of some of the new things he is going to have to learn to handle. I am more affected than he is....so far. I fear for him. Actual book learning and dealing with other students who do not know/understand his issues. Most kids (and adults) adore Chaytor. He is funny, really funny. But do we find him cute and funny because he still sounds like a 3 year old or even younger sometimes? Is that why he is cute? Or is it his innocence?
I guess I also fear how I will "be" when behavior issues come up or testing he can't pass happens. I've learned to calm down and listen to his teachers. Don't jump to conclusions. He has been blessed with amazing preschool teachers and word is his new teachers are just as awesome. That I am relaxed about. As I write this, it is the fear of the unknown. How will they handle his behavior. I know I will learn much from them. So deep breath, Karen.
I too go back to school (part time again) tomorrow. I am not teaching with my friend Caryn this year. They placed her with another Bio teacher. We both spoke with our principal, but it was obvious they weren't budging.
Caryn and I have been praised on how we work with the general and special education kids. We were so confused on why they would do this. I have my own thoughts on the real reason, but it concerns someone else so I will not be gossiping about it. You get the idea.
So new school situations for both of us. I am sure once we get into our routine, my anxiety will calm down. I just have to remember to breathe and listen before responding- in both situations.
I have gotten into the habit of saying "How would God want me to respond?" kinda a WWJD thing and I am proud of the changes I have seen in my behavior. I am still passionate, but in a kinder manner. My goal is to continue this during the school year and hopefully it will become a natural response.

Church: Have I ever told you how much I love my church? I do. I LOVE MY CHURCH!!! Brian (my pastor) and the rest of the production crew had a great service yesterday....they always do. But I really liked the message. Colossians 3

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Brian emphasized the "list of things to not do or stop doing", not the 10 commandments but a pretty simple to the point list of things, that a true Christ follower, should not do or stop doing. Funny thing is I had made a pack with myself to work on these before Brian talked about them.
Here is my list: potty mouth: I have worked on this a lot, anyone who hangs out with me would know this. I'm not completely clean, but it is something I am addressing. Slander: I try to either stop the conversation or add something positive so the other person lays off of the gossip, at least with me. Now, again, not perfect, but am conscious of talking negative about others....hence the I will not discuss my thoughts about the teacher situation that I mentioned above.
Again, not perfect, still mess up in these two departments, but if I keep working on them, one day it will stick! I hope my actions rub off on my students....that's my main goal as a teacher. Yeah, I want them to learn the work, but the ultimate goal is making a child fit for society, understanding that they have responsibilities, due dates in life, and how to work with others.
So, there ya go...I will try to BLOG more once school starts....we will see!!