Physical Health

inspired by today's sermon: I enjoy exercise. I always have. I danced for something like 14 years, even majored in it for 2 at Radford University. It makes you feel good (endorphins) and allows you to cheat from your "diet" and not feel too bad. And that is where I have to work on things........the indulging part. I have terrible self control. Always have. Let's face it....I like to have control (hence my OCD-ness) and feeling of craziness when I have none. And the honest truth is we really only have one 'type' of control.....our behavior. And I can really stink at controlling that sometimes, too. My indulging behavior has actually changed since Russell came along. Yes, there are things you can't not eat or drink when you are pregnant. And there are medicines you can't take, etc. But when you are breastfeeding it is a whole new ball game. I love sweets and carbs and I can have all those............but I miss my veggies and some dairy. And this is where I am learning self control. In the past, I could have a reward every now and then of chocolate or ice cream or my amazing mac & cheese...and I was the only one who would have to deal with the consequences if I ate too much. But now, I have Russell who has to deal with the consequences...and they are not nice consequences. If you have ever had a baby or been around a baby with bad tummy ache and gas and you hear them scream in pain...you know what I am talking about. And to know that YOU caused it because you HAD to have the food you wanted or the treat really tears you up. So, this is a different diet than you normally hear about, but it is still about self control. I would love to go to Two Fellas and eat ice cream or sit down to the biggest salad I can imagine and go to town on it............but it will cause major pain to my sweetheart Russell if I do it. And it hit me a few days ago that this is the most control I have ever had on a diet. And all because it affects someone else. And I tied that together this morning when Brian tlaked about how our bodies are on loan from God. And that it is not ours. And we need to take care of it. I started back to Weight Watchers last week. I did drop a lot of the pregnancy weight the first month, but I do have about 25 more lbs. to go. It will be a challenge on a diet that I am able to eat with breastfeeding Russell and my doctor said that I have to be careful with getting what I need to continue to feed Russell. So I have to find my "right bowl of porridge" in order to lose weight and feed Russell correctly. And I have to drop my "me first" issue with getting my pre-pregancy body back if I want to still feed Russell. Again, doctor said if I am not getting enough with dieting, I will not be able to feed him. So, I may have to chill and loose the last pounds when I am done feeding him. And that is hard for me... I WANT back in my old clothes and it is close enough that they button and zip....but it don't look good and heck no if ain't comfortable. I WANT to wear my wedding bands again...and they slide on but are tight and uncomfortable. But do I want to continue with feeding Russell: yes. so I have to drop the ME attitude and be ok with myself. And I can't eat what I want, but I can survive just fine on what I am able to eat until then. So, self control and drop the ME attitude. But I will exercise and I can't wait until I am hitting the gym like I did pre-pregnancy.